“Writers are exorcists of their own demons.”
(This is my favorite quote—it’s what I am doing when I write,
and when I share it on this blog.)
—Mario Vargas Llosa
“A thing derided is a thing dead; a laughing man is stronger than a suffering man.”
(I wish this was true in my own life!)
—Gustave Flaubert
The quotes above from my collection of humorous (and not so humorous) quotations explain precisely why I write humorously about the painful events in my life.
As I have noted several times in this blog, and particularly in the preceding post on some of my collected self-quotes, it is through my writings over the past thirty-five years of my Oklahomian Exile (and indeed the entire forty years of what I call the “Peacock Curse”) that I deal with the issues of my life.
In this post I continue that practice by sharing some of my collected humorous (and not so humorous) quotes from others (including humorous newspaper comic strips), some of which may have appeared in earlier posts. As always, my comments are set in parentheses.
Humorous Quotes from Others
“Humor plays close to the big hot fire that is truth.”
—E. B. White
“Humor is laughing at what you haven’t got when you ought to have it.”
—Langston Hughes (1902-1967), quoted in
History magazine, September/October 2009
“Humor is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles.”
—Juanita Taylor, “Author adds a laugh track to tough time,”
Arkansas Democrat Gazette, nd, quoting Rev. Stan Toler,
God Has Never Failed Me,
But He’s Sure Scared Me to Death a Few Times!
“It’s been said that humor is our shield against insanity.” (If that’s so then maybe I ain’t so crazy after all!)
—Jaime O’Neill, “Grapes of Wrath redux?” Tulsa World, 09/18/11
“You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.” (I have found humor in most of my painful situations, but I have never turned any of them around through laughter.)
—Bill Cosby, quoted in the Sapulpa Daily Herald
“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” (But as Charlie Brown once said elsewhere, I’m already down to half-days!)
—Charlie Brown in Charles Shultz’ Peanuts cartoon,
Today’s Cryptoquote, Tulsa World, 01-12-11
“Charlie Brown . . . is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.” (I know the feeling, Charlie Brown! At my memorial service everybody will probably be talking about my beautiful widow–including me, wherever I am!)
–Chris Rock, Celebrity Quote,
Tulsa World, 11-01-12
“In my belief, you cannot deal with the most serious things in life unless you also understand the most amusing.”
—Winston Churchill
“Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.”
—Elsa Maxwell, American socialite (1863-1963),
Thought for the Day, Sapulpa Daily Herald, nd
“It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.” (So that’s my purpose in life!)
—Quote from anonymous forwarded email
“Nobody ever died of laughter.”
—Max Beerbohm, English critic and essayist (1872-1958),
Thought for the Day, Sapulpa Daily Herald, nd
“The sound of laughter has always seemed to me the most civilized music in the universe.”
—Peter Ustinov
“What this country needs is a good humorist. There’s been no one since Will Rogers.” (That’s what I would like to be—the Will Rogers of Arkansas.)
—Herbert Hoover
“If that’s art, then I’m a Hottentot!” (My feelings exactly about most “modern art”!)
—Harry S. Truman
“If a man wants his dreams to come true, he must wake up.”
—Anonymous
“I did not attend the funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
—Mark Twain (1835-1910), quoted on desk calendar
for March 17, St. Patrick’s Day
“Should I go home, or should I just go crazy?” (You can guess which one I have done!)
—Lyrics of country song heard on the radio in August 2001
“Might as well . . . can’t dance.” (In the case of Mari and me, that is still literally true!)
—1950s Ouachita Baptist College student saying
“Welcome to the South!—now go home!”
“Save the South—teach a Yankee to drive!”
“I miss my ex-wife—but my aim is getting better!”
“You don’t deserve to dream!” (I laughed out loud when I saw this one years ago.)
—Southern bumper stickers
“Discourage inbreeding, ban country music.”
—Bumper sticker seen on car in Wal-Mart parking lot
“When did my wild oats become all bran?”
—Bumper sticker seen in McGehee, Arkansas
“You might be a redneck if . . . your wife has a Jell-O mold that looks like Elvis.”
—Jeff Foxworthy, quoted on desk calendar
“Yeah, but not enough to git in th’ way of my pickin’.”
—Arkansan Glen Campbell in response to question:
“Can you read music?”
“Satan thought he had us, but now he’s on the run.
The devil’s in the phone booth dialing 911!”
—Southern Gospel song
“After a man passes sixty, his mischief is mainly in his head.” (And I’m seventy-four! When I asked Mari why all the pretty young girls smile at me now but didn’t when I was young, she said, “It’s because they know you’re harmless—and because you’re so homely!”)
—Ed Howe, Today’s Cryptoquote, Tulsa World, 01-31-01
“Grandkids are fine—ask me about my medical problems.” (I have a lot more of those than I do grandkids—and that’s no joke!)
—Bumper sticker on back of old man’s car
in Bizarro cartoon, Tulsa World, nd
Humorous Newspaper Cartoons
If you know me personally, or if you have read my personal blog posts at all, you will probably understand why I chose these particular newspaper cartoons. Hint: They all relate in some way or another to my own life and situation either now or in the past.
“I don’t get it . . . After all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren’t we making any progress?”
—Four CEO-types around staff table
on quarterdeck of huge Roman galley
with only one poor oarsman,
Non Sequitur cartoon, Tulsa World, 11-29-06
“Well, the budget cuts appear to have worked on expenses, Hoskins, but do you have any idea why production is down?”
—CEO to overworked accountant at empty staff table,
Non Sequitur cartoon, Tulsa World, 03-21-07
“I lost my job.”
“Your last job was 100 years ago.”
“It’s really lost.”
—Conversation between the witch Broom Hilda
and another cartoon character,
Broom Hilda cartoon, Tulsa World, 2001
Lieutenant Fuzz, saluting General Halftrack: “Have a superfragilisticexpialidocious day, sir!”
General Halftrack to Captain beside him: “Brevity is not his strong point.” (Nor mine.)
—Beatle Bailey cartoon, Tulsa World, 07-08-ny
Ralph on phone: “Thank you for calling. Goodbye.”
Ralph’s wife: “Ralph, what’s wrong?”
Ralph: “My friend Marv died!”
Ralph’s wife: “Marv?? Good heavens!”
Ralph: “I’m stunned! Marv was only my age! He was just a young man!”
Ralph’s teenage son: “I thought you said he was your age.” (I know the feeling!)
—Drabble cartoon, Tulsa World, 07-01-96
Peppermint Patti: “I’m trying, Marcie, but I’m still doing lousy in school.”
Marcy: “Maybe you need to eat a better breakfast, sir, or have your eyes checked or start going to bed earlier.”
Peppermint Patti: “You’ve never understood, have you, Marcie, that when a person complains, he doesn’t want a solution, he wants sympathy!” (I would have said “understanding.”)
Marcy: “No, I admit I’ve never understood that, sir.”
Peppermint Patti: “Stop calling me ‘sir’!”
—Peanuts cartoon, Tulsa World, nd
Frank to businessman reading the newspaper on a park bench: “I tried being my own boss for a while, and you wouldn’t believe the absenteeism!” (As I say, “When you work for someone else, everybody is your boss; when you work for yourself, everybody is your critic!” And that is also no joke!)
—Frank and Ernest cartoon, Tulsa World, nd
“It’s the holiday season. I just love this time of year. It makes me feel greedy all over.” (I used to love it, but now I hate it—because so many in our society seem to share Garfield’s feelings. Yet I am not nearly as concerned about the commercialization of Christmas as I am about the commercialization of Christianity! See my later post of quotes about religion and politics.)
—Garfield cartoon, Tulsa World, 12-09-ny
From Virgil: “They are able because they think they are able.” ~Ed Roling, Tulsa, OK